Skip to main content

Everything has come to an end

Sounds like I'm going to commit suicide eh?
No.Not yet.I won't kill myself yet.
I feel so stress nowadays.Cry myself to sleep.
Don't worry,sanity is still in me but I feel derailed minded nowadays.
I don't think my home is a "home sweet home",sometimes is like a prison.
Packing my stuff,to begone from the hostel by this Friday night.
I miss someone very dearly now.His jokes.His laughter.His smile.His Voice.
His random thoughts.His hug.Everything about him.
The 1st and only guy who sings for me at skype at the middle of the night.
Some other day,I'll sing a song for you too..=)
I have this feeling of..idk,it's a deep and sad as if I can't meet him again
maybe untill next year.It's just my thought,instinct or what...?
I miss you.I miss you.Miss you.Miss you.Miss you.
Some other things are also messing up my head right now.
They make me sad,worried and so wanting-to-give-up-in-my-life feeling.
I can't list them all here.It will me make look so weak.
heh.I hate to say this..
but..
I feel so sad right now,faking a smile and laughing while inside me is dying.
Help.=((

p/s:oh,yea..before I end my post.
I got this song stuck playing in my head,Ku Seru (OST PHSM)
"Oh..Dengarlah Sayu Tangisanku
Mengapa Degupanmu Ku Seru
Kerna Kesepian
nan Terlalu
Kembalikan Hidup Yang Ku Rindu~


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#2.8 Forth letter

Hi again, My life partner and soulmate, Ikhwan Faiz, ❤️ This is the 4th letter from me to you, sayang. I know all of my letters are reflecting on my dreams and spirituality that I wanted to share with you. So that it will be relevant anytime you read this if you feel uninspired, sad or wanted to be reminded of my love to you. Maybe when our kids grow up, you can share my letters to them and talk about how you feel every time you read it. I know I'm very far-sighted and visionary, but I only wanted you to have the best optimism about everything in Life, together with me. I want to share everything I felt deeply inside with you, and no one else but God. All of my private thoughts and unspoken words.  That's a privilege held by soulmate. He is very special to me.  What's more better than having a good husband, loving children, peaceful life and having a job that you enjoy doing while making a difference in this world? Nothing. To me, my husband and my family will be most treas...
1 comment
Read more

Worries worries, sayang

  To my sweetheart & hubby, Ikhwan Faiz. In my bright or dark days, I have so much things to say and shared with you, but I never wanted to burden you with my worries and my absurd self sabotaging brain. I'm scared of how the world will judge me based on my appearance and personality or the way I talk, or how I stuttered or being clumsy. I'm scared I'm not enough for you. I'm scared that I'm not attractive enough or bore you with random thoughts and stupid jokes. I'm scared if I ever made you upset or feel insecure because of my stupid mood swing or being sad. I'm scared everything that my brain and soul has suffered already my lifespan a little more shorter and shorten our time together. I'm scared of my known and unknown health issues will burden you and somehow affect the risk of complications if we try to conceive in the future. Nonetheless of these things, each time I felt my brain and negative thoughts starts manifesting I tried so hard to dist...
1 comment
Read more

Not-so-Narcissist-ME

Of Relationship and its epiphany .  I've been thinking on my stance about it and on how I perceived it from my teenage years. Since I started high school and socialize around after college, I get brutally honest confessions, messages or text from people from time to time. I didn't have to ask much to let them exchange their number or social media account. I got tons of contacts in my phone from social media account, mainly because I enjoyed chatting and being empathic towards others. I spent countless of hours talking and gagging if I'm lonely and needed company. I never have to ask or beg for attention. Thus, whenever I'm in a serious relationship, my partner is always insecure or possessive, he will know each and every friends or recognise "potential threat" that he has in order to gain my attention and question my loyalty. I find it obnoxiously nauseating and mentally stalling . I enjoyed freedom, trust and mutual respect from others especially from m...
Post a Comment
Read more