May 2018. What has become of me? Still nocturnal and feeling guilt for not being able to act like I genuinely like everyone around me. I acted like I should, respected their decision and let them have their say at me. I prefer this word as "endurance" I am tired of not being in sync of my own schedule, or being used. or just doing whatever it takes to stay alive. Yes, the 14th General Election made me realized that there's always hope. I did want a new government. An electoral miracle. Literally, it is. The hype has not gone down, even the older adults are still talking about it. Hate. I am not doing it. But my mother keeps nagging me to date younger guys, or go for the famous and rich. Based on my own experience, and tons of dating game, I prefer not to even look at these type of men that I should get intimate with, since I know my type. There is always a type, yet time constraints and social status made me feel like it will take years for me to reach the altar or