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Showing posts from 2014

Alone.

Alone? Such things we call as being physically left behind maybe by people, or events. I think life has a cruel but sweet intention for us. It surprises us by making the beginning as hardest part to go through. You'll feel as if life is being a bitch, but actually, It's a lesson and teacher at the same time. God also give us HINT. That He never LEAVES us feeling lonely. It had come upon my attention that GOD is really NICE, because He Listens, and Feels our sorrow,pain, Joy and Pleasure. I tell you. I was crying alone, but suddenly my best friend sent me a chat message. I wasn't expecting, but this is a sign that Allah knows we want someone dear to us or  those people who we missed so much to contact us. I never lose faith in Allah. He has a big plan for me. That's why all of us are tested in an unexpected ways and time. I would rather shorten my lifespan and be useful to other human beings than living in sins. I am scared of hellfire. Of cours

Confessions

It's been like months since I last posted here. I confessed, I was looking on things in life in a restricted and conventional way. Now, I am in mid of a crossroad. Trying to figure out of which steps should I had taken or at least have a perfect guideline of what to do next. Right now, as matter of life and death:  TO CHOOSE or WAIT. Goals and Ambitions. Love and Lust. Glory or Defeat.  Mixing up in my head. I'm afraid to reflect what others had think or thought about me. If confession are what people lived for? Why people keep telling lies to themselves? Why white lies exist and why not embrace painful truth? Lies are still lies as it downgrades the power of justice. You serve others with lies while deep inside you're hurting. God, if lies are for the betterment? Why the consequences makes others tripped into  a journey of guilt and sins? It's a thing to ponder upon. My thought exist right now to clarify what I had gone through last semester in c

Stranded.

A life full of debts and living in fear. It's not about how I am dealing with life here. But the people. The tragedies and how I am paranoid and succumb to my own  dark shadows. Inner demons. If there is such thing as freedom. It's called "Truth" Truth really hurts, but it shall set us free. Free from being haunted or guilt. I am willing to give myself away, for that chance to be free. Right now, I'm living in a difficult situation that no one can help me. Everyone around me has their own agenda. Sadness, problems, inner conflicts, dilemma. And I wonder, having a significant other right now.. does it make the situation really better?  Life teaches us to be wise and resilient but along the way, the rise and falls.. It's lonely, it's dark.. and the ones who can save you is.. Yourself. So think, if I had a new order of time, to reset all of my past mistakes. I wouldn't do too much for others, I wouldn't love others who will