Dualism Fuel

" We need to catch up. Seriously. " " Last time we talked is two years ago " " I hope you're doing well now. Better than last time" " You didn't come to my wedding or response to my invitation.I knew something must've came up ." " How's life? Are you still dating that asshole that I told you to leave?He's only using you, on and off." " I hate hearing you crying or suffer. You're very smart, talented, pretty, nice and funny girl. So much to live for. " " Have you done anything stupid again, Moon? I know you're crazy and fucked up inside for many reasons " Those are some of conversation starters from my close friends that reeks my heart. Reconnections of deep thoughts and intentions from a few that knows me too well. Yes. In these few weeks, my old crushes, acquaintance, exes, good friends, and "almost a thing phase", they decided to reconnect me back into their Life, ...

{ My eccentric nature is to memorize people through the ambience; of smell, touch, hearing and gestures.} The most important of all is their voice and the look inside their eyes tells me everything. Some part of their past, present and future came crawling into my skin but I insisted taking it in all slowly, disseminate and digest properly. Observing people unfold their demons and irks and then just go with the flow,instead of jumping into conclusions and judgement. People radiate energy in both beneficial and harmful ones to their surroundings. Reading people can be intriguing yet tiring because of the constant contradiction of between the emotions and rational level in handling circumstances are at par of each other. Being rational and sensible is better than letting your vulnerability and weaknesses screw you over a petty thing. I was told by people that my walls are made of solid concrete that could only be demolished by Time and Effort. In the past few years, what and how did I ...

{*sound of keyboard typing* At 5 am.} Composing more articles to write and studying on how to pass an editor's test. I think I am more comfortable working on odd hours since my recurring fever subsided and my back stop hurting. Oh,in the meantime, working on a application where I can collaborate and publish my work or ideas to a few websites. I need a proper platform to start on my own personal brand and portfolio of my articles, fiction, poem and Lifehack pro tips and tutorials. I had plans to start collaborating with my friends on their You tube channel this year or just help them in setting up anything. I will have to work around to find time and opportunity to brainstorm ideas with them. It could be a vlog, promoting your hobbies or products or broadcasting your hobbies, causes and ideas. But hey, let's arrange things bit by bit? I wrote a book last year but the whole process didn't went well. I lost all of my draft backup copies and due to my hea...

[Nujabes- Luv sick part 2 (instrumental) was playing in the background while I wrote this. I highly recommend people to listen to this track. It’s beautiful and soothing. Such a great majestic masterpiece by the late Japanese DJ/Hip Hop producer, Seba Jun. DO GIVE IT A LISTEN to this track while reading my blog post! TEE HEE ] How am I trying to progress in life despite struggling with health issues? By initiating multiple group & self-projects, work,volunteering, hobbies and doing many research on certain topics.During the last few months, I was busy writing my book about the state of human mind and spirituality called, “Tunnel”. Sadly, my health and time has been distorting this specific long term project and I find it hard to finish it on time. It’s a personal book and compilation of inspiration that I had obtained from people and books. There are days, I hunger for more new substances, knowledge and materials for the sake of the book itself. I showed the sample t...

"Parang,the game" The fusion of Borneo culture into a card game.A game company, Beast of Borneo based in Kuching created this masterpiece game. Thus, " Parang" the card game has succesfully gotten the crowd into a new dimension of playing and social interacting with people in this smartphone era while still preserving a sense of identity of the Iban culture.The pioneer of its kind. Borneo headhunting card game. A very cool concept. The players has their own unique ways to win the game and collect "Antu Pala" (head trophies) to become the winner. As a matter of fact, the whole idea and design of the game itself stands out and made its objectives as a "get-along-game". and naturally enjoyable for individuals from all walks of Life. Regardless old you are, race and identity is not a problem. The game is very simple to understand and most people learn to become the winner as they played it along. Stay tuned for more info of "Parang", t...

M r .R @ 636, " Why love if losing hurts too much?It’s just nice to know someone is always there for us"  — Yes.I never intended to fall in love with you.I never said a thing about being your girlfriend.I never want to hurt you.I’m tired of having relationship with guys,but I promise you,I can be your special someone,a best friend and lover at the same time.I’m ready to open up and let you in.But,will you walk your way in and do the same thing?I might be here for you now,but who knows,here right now..gone tomorrow?Maybe I’ll be dead or what.I don’t really care.I feel it’s useless not having someone special that I’ve been searching for.I’m always upset by the fact hearing so much rumors about you but I know you will somehow explain to me.I’m always here waiting.I go crazy for you laughter and voice.You deserve the world,but I can give you ME.I know..deep inside you,lies a very loving,exciting and unique character.I searched for that in every guy I’ve been flirting and playin...

I wish I could tell people the things I wrote in the internet and my blogs are my real feelings, Sometimes,my dear.. I wish I could tell those words to the person that I refer to.. For me,I'm a human puzzle,a very confusing personality, an entity,a symbol of dualism,a human with a lot of personalities, and I can change it in a very,very fast way.. If overwhelm,I would do things that could harm me in the first place and regret about it later, I'm just a very complicated personality, I don't really like people seeing me too good,nor too bad.. I rather look bad so that people can't see my vulnerable side, people always like to prejudge what I do, misunderstand and misinterpreting the things I do,or say.. I really want to be a symbol or something to people who have a complicated personality like me,I'm just too hard to be understand by certain people, and sometimes,we don't have any chemistry at all, they were never meant to be my friends at the first...