Dualism Fuel

{ I found myself into another episode of choosing a path at crossroad as based on the poem interpretation of " Road Not Taken " by Robert Frost. Dilemma. Exhaustion .} Such variables and temporary decisions to be made makes me irk and break into character. Long outdoor weekend and struggling with many internal issues such as deadlines and keeping my blood pressure stable. Time ticking as if the end is near gives me chills. I ought to live my life meaningfully even if it comes with a lot of personal sacrifices. I'm flighty. I assumed the worst in people who has constantly hurt me for a long time. If I wish to be happy, I have to keep distant from being drained spiritually. Clearly, I don't give a flying fuck what others had labelled me. Eccentric is fine. Crazy is best. I don't rely on people as much as during my younger years. Only to those very few that I had my Trust vested. My secrets; Very exclusive ones. Wild adventures , or the stupid one s. Or a l...

{*sound of keyboard typing* At 5 am.} Composing more articles to write and studying on how to pass an editor's test. I think I am more comfortable working on odd hours since my recurring fever subsided and my back stop hurting. Oh,in the meantime, working on a application where I can collaborate and publish my work or ideas to a few websites. I need a proper platform to start on my own personal brand and portfolio of my articles, fiction, poem and Lifehack pro tips and tutorials. I had plans to start collaborating with my friends on their You tube channel this year or just help them in setting up anything. I will have to work around to find time and opportunity to brainstorm ideas with them. It could be a vlog, promoting your hobbies or products or broadcasting your hobbies, causes and ideas. But hey, let's arrange things bit by bit? I wrote a book last year but the whole process didn't went well. I lost all of my draft backup copies and due to my hea...

[I dedicated this post to all my friends and readers. Part 3 of my long wrenching struggle. It's somewhere full with uncertainty and in confusion?] Have you ever been in two state of contrasting situation at the same time? The extreme of feeling happy and sadness, in parallel. Mirroring each other. It's as almost as impossible to think the outcome and layers of well-being I could become but I too, had tried to disperse negativity away. Each time I tried to think positively that I could heal my sickness; mental and physical, I would end up miserably crying. I don't really see the purpose of having a long term goal anymore nor wanting to live my life fully as myself in a happy version. I'm currently an image of what people expect me to be. I am expected to act smart, cheerful and rational all the time. Too much expectations, it really breaks me from the inside.Mind you, my social medias are just for mere camouflage and keeping in touch with the outside world or ...

Gemini. What do you can generalize upon reading the above statement? They're the twins in Zodiac Astrology.Happy and moody. Naive but Cunning,Good and bad.All at the same time. Everything seems to be in an opposite manner from one moment to another.The misconception is about what makes them looking rather "bad" than good,in general.Being misunderstood,misjudge etc etc. Been seeing all those things inside me,and I'm not being prudish enough to say that we're the star but also puppeteer in our life. The ability to change everything from the smallest part of our personality till affecting other people's life and decision has become a solid line on how a complex personality that we can be,but never be taken in seriously for some people,if not all. So,back to what this post is really about.Misconceptions. Here's a few: Very indecisive, unsure & sometimes has no exact aims and direct goals in live Flirtatious, no self will to commit in a re...