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Worries worries, sayang

 

To my sweetheart & hubby, Ikhwan Faiz.


In my bright or dark days, I have so much things to say and shared with you, but I never wanted to burden you with my worries and my absurd self sabotaging brain. I'm scared of how the world will judge me based on my appearance and personality or the way I talk, or how I stuttered or being clumsy. I'm scared I'm not enough for you. I'm scared that I'm not attractive enough or bore you with random thoughts and stupid jokes. I'm scared if I ever made you upset or feel insecure because of my stupid mood swing or being sad. I'm scared everything that my brain and soul has suffered already my lifespan a little more shorter and shorten our time together. I'm scared of my known and unknown health issues will burden you and somehow affect the risk of complications if we try to conceive in the future. Nonetheless of these things, each time I felt my brain and negative thoughts starts manifesting I tried so hard to distract myself from being pushed down to my knees and submit to self loathing. I will try pick myself up no matter how many times I fallen into the abyss of depression. 

I thanked Allah for each seconds and days that I have in this Dunya with you and I hope He will grant me more years to come and well-being to be your soulmate, wife and mother to our children. I don't want to leave this world without experiencing all that I can offer to love, cherish and appreciate you as my husband and my only soulmate. I want to hold your hand till the end of Time and never let go. I want to be your Angel and Paradise for you to feel safe and warmth in this Dunya and Hereafter. You are my strength and eternity. There's nothing else that I need in Life now, but to share all my love and make you happy, sayang. 

I'm totally in love and crazy about your smile, laughter, voice, and everything about us. You made me feel life is worth living. I want to create beautiful and happy memories with you and our family. In fact,as I wrote this I see us in a vision with our children going for weekend outing with me visibly pregnant and holding your hands as we walked along with our young children. 


Eternally yours, 

Munira Jasmin. 


Comments

  1. ikh1September 6, 2021 at 8:50 AM

    Dear My Sayang Munira Jasmin,

    You don't have to indulge yourself into those negative thoughts. I love you and love everything about you. your bests and your flaws. i love all of it. just promise me you will keep loving me as much as you can. and i'll triple back all the love u give me. mmuahhx

    ReplyDelete

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