Skip to main content

The road to You

November 2018. I am whole because you breath the air and vibe to love again. I think found my soulmate. The one I adore most in Life now.

All these family drama and people desperately begging for attention, I admit I feel asphyxiated and suffocated, but I have strength and peace to be myself and ignore negativity. I have a bunch of strangers and friends who sees me as who I am inside and let me grow into the person I am.

The truth is if you never lose yourself, you will never know how good it felt to came back to the right path, the right mindset and giving priority to the things you want the most in Life.

I have been using the Internet my whole life and came to know that there are sad, lonely and depressed people begging and hurting others for the sake of attention and false pretense. I have many met many kinds of human, went out with random people, experimenting with their behaviour and do read people's behaviour really well. I have many stories and tales to be shared with others because I also have done a lot of crazy things and adventures my whole life. To the point being misunderstood and feel out of place all the time. It's just I have a vibrant and colourful life. We take lessons from every difficult person we encountered and all the things that happened instead of dwelling in it over and over again.

When there's a genuine friendship and connection, the love and chemistry with each other varies and depends on how far you are willing to be vulnerable, trusting and compromise with each other. With the right partner, you can find solace and security within each other presence. In time, you will see all of the imperfections, flaws and shortcomings as a perfection. Marriage requires effort and responsibility to carry out duties as a team. In order to find the ideal partner you wanted, you will need to learn more about your own limits, beliefs and go through many unpleasant, heart-wrenching and frustrating relationships.From one chapter to another endless cycle of getting hurt and moving on. It is the whole process of learning to be mature and giving attention to the small things that people find it petty and useless.  You will only be able to know what you want in a partner after exploring your limits and level of pain you can endure in a relationship. It is about the journey and destination, not about the numbers of people you dated or who you used to be in the past. You will eventually know how to love yourself and then fall in love with another soul.

I find it easier to explain myself to the whole world than my own flesh, because they will never see Life as the way I see it. They grow bitter and try to bring others down if they have not seen the depth of everything that happened."Being concern" is normal, but judging and making worst assumptions at others simply shows how shallow and fickle you are because of your own unpleasant experience or views in life. We get hurt, upset and angry by people all the time. Only to those know how to find meaning in pain and peace will have the strongest heart and capable to love again.

I am a traveller of this Dunya (world) and I take only what I needed to grow into a real human with empathy and compassion towards ignorant and egoistic people.

I made peace with myself. I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but it gave me wisdom and peace to be who I am today.

It is more than enough and I am grateful.

Life is too short. Do want you want. Be happy by being yourself.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#2.8 Forth letter

Hi again, My life partner and soulmate, Ikhwan Faiz, ❤️ This is the 4th letter from me to you, sayang. I know all of my letters are reflecting on my dreams and spirituality that I wanted to share with you. So that it will be relevant anytime you read this if you feel uninspired, sad or wanted to be reminded of my love to you. Maybe when our kids grow up, you can share my letters to them and talk about how you feel every time you read it. I know I'm very far-sighted and visionary, but I only wanted you to have the best optimism about everything in Life, together with me. I want to share everything I felt deeply inside with you, and no one else but God. All of my private thoughts and unspoken words.  That's a privilege held by soulmate. He is very special to me.  What's more better than having a good husband, loving children, peaceful life and having a job that you enjoy doing while making a difference in this world? Nothing. To me, my husband and my family will be most treas
1 comment
Read more

#1.8 Surat ketiga

Hi dear love Ikhwan Faiz,  All the ups and downs of my Life and every pain I've endured just to write a letter to you is worthwhile. I wanted our love to be immortal and Everlasting in my works and poems, even though one day our body will disintegrate and dissolve in the ground. My words are inspired by the pure joy and peace that I found within myself and your presence. My spirituality and faith. Everytime I see someone talking about their other half and true love, I kept thinking about our journey and the day we will be united as One. Like the creation of Eve from the ribs of Adam, every female are destined to finds her own Adam and they will never ever belong to anyone else, no matter how crazy the obstacle they are put through. I believe in Jodoh/soulmate  because it's very simple yet mysterious for every being on Earth. It has been promised by all the Holy Books of every religion, philosophers, poets and spiritual leader that everyone is created in pairs. Funny how much hu
1 comment
Read more

Hello 4,579,200 seconds

It has been 53 days since I officially and legally became a "wife", and 7 weeks,3 days having a small being growing inside my womb. Guess what? It's not a surprise nor something that out-of-reach category My depression doesn't go away, neither my panic attack nor anxiety. There are days I can function as a human being, there are days I feel like giving up on myself and never want to feel alive anymore. Being inflicted with emotions and obligation as a wife and to-be-mom, I find it's hard to find a purpose of waking up and doing chores. Or it's just the changes around my body makes it very hard for me to adapt. Wanted to finish my IT Firm and Cybersecurity certs, wanting to write a novel about having CPTSD and supernatural beings or having a community that knows my name and not be remembered as a wife, daughter, sister and mother when I die. I just wanted leave this world with something great behind, instead of being stuck in a rut and a purgatory of waves of m
Post a Comment
Read more