Skip to main content

#2: 636

Mr .R @ 636,
"Why love if losing hurts too much?It’s just nice to know someone is always there for us"
 — Yes.I never intended to fall in love with you.I never said a thing about being your girlfriend.I never want to hurt you.I’m tired of having relationship with guys,but I promise you,I can be your special someone,a best friend and lover at the same time.I’m ready to open up and let you in.But,will you walk your way in and do the same thing?I might be here for you now,but who knows,here right now..gone tomorrow?Maybe I’ll be dead or what.I don’t really care.I feel it’s useless not having someone special that I’ve been searching for.I’m always upset by the fact hearing so much rumors about you but I know you will somehow explain to me.I’m always here waiting.I go crazy for you laughter and voice.You deserve the world,but I can give you ME.I know..deep inside you,lies a very loving,exciting and unique character.I searched for that in every guy I’ve been flirting and playing around with..and I choose you.I allow you to touch me.feel me.because one thing,I love you.636.


"Unrequited love?No, it’s just you who smile and laugh recalling back memories with or without the person knowing."
 — Significantly,some of you guys and girls don’t believe in unrequited love.It does exist.I’ve been there and I did that.I don’t mind doing it again.I love someone with all my heart,I’m ready to let him go if he could prove to me,there’s a girl could love him better than me.I fall for his imperfections,his smile and his thoughts..not for looks and lust.I came upon him,not my intention to fall in love with him.He taught about things that I should learn in life and make my worst day to be a little brighter,but I’ve seen the vulnerable side of him.He doubt and keep wondering things so much.Too much questions.I love him,more than the things I could give in this world.I would fight for him.I would climb the walls for him.I’ll kill to see his laughter.I will only back off,only if he told me to do so.As a friend,I’ve fallen for him.I wish to welcome him and let him in..but will he do the same?I’ve yet to know.He’s unique and very one-of-a-kind guy.I admit,I don’t go for typical guys,I go for the hard ones.I hurt myself,because I think it’s worth it.I dare,dare to love again when I see the things that I want in a potential special someone.I’m tired of dating game as well.I’ve been thinking about getting engaged and married but my parents would be skeptical about it.Fuck relationship.Fuck commitment.I’m tired of guys and the break up aftermath thingy.They will throw all back at you and what you guys did together,and say hurtful things instead of letting go and wish all the best,remain with that person as friends which brings the best hope and things in life for that person.Why don’t you just laugh along about the past and moved on as a very good friend?I did that.I’m happy he moved on.I moved on.We both moved on,but we remain as good friends.Well,636.You have me now,I’m here for you..always here,no matter what role you want me to play in your life,no matter where ever you are and who you wish to be with.I love you.I miss you.636.
             

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hello 4,579,200 seconds

It has been 53 days since I officially and legally became a "wife", and 7 weeks,3 days having a small being growing inside my womb. Guess what? It's not a surprise nor something that out-of-reach category My depression doesn't go away, neither my panic attack nor anxiety. There are days I can function as a human being, there are days I feel like giving up on myself and never want to feel alive anymore. Being inflicted with emotions and obligation as a wife and to-be-mom, I find it's hard to find a purpose of waking up and doing chores. Or it's just the changes around my body makes it very hard for me to adapt. Wanted to finish my IT Firm and Cybersecurity certs, wanting to write a novel about having CPTSD and supernatural beings or having a community that knows my name and not be remembered as a wife, daughter, sister and mother when I die. I just wanted leave this world with something great behind, instead of being stuck in a rut and a purgatory of waves of m...

#3 Atrocity of humans

I wonder, Too often, Am I living my life for others or is this a process of learning how to stand still even if the ground shakes, breaks you, into thousands of pieces? Betrayal, being upset, anxiety and hurt is part of our brief Life. The feeling of wanting to channel every energy from my chaotic mind to a simple, organized and multilayer thoughts of words. Let me tell you a story. I wasn't fit enough to socialize around when I was a little kid. The little kid who grew up wearing thick round glasses since kindygarten and often bullied for her eccentricity and anti social. So,Whenever I make new friends, I asked them questions about computer or video games and internet. Some of them thinks I'm a freak, some of them thinks I'm cool  and some of them are really, really lost. aha.  I was exposed to technology and gadgets since I was little toddler. Watches the evolution of inventions. Learnt how to read, and write at a very young age. But I have trouble w...

Sappy

It's the combination of the word "happy" and "sad" It's always the thing in me..hahaha.Stop it. I'm sad that letting go of something and someone, and also the past, The past is something I can't forget, and no matter how bad or screwed up I am, it's always me,myself and I picking up the pieces that was scattered and rebuild myself up. It's like how I'm trying hard not to do anything that will ever contradicted myself but failed..but, I managed to find strength and solution while in deep shit. I'm wondering why sometimes that it is always like that. The way geminians sees the world is DIFFERENT. We are different coz we are complex and hard to predict. We have similarity in our behavior and the way we think. How are we struggling battling our own self and self-contradiction idiosyncrasy. and I believe,most of us have our own inner strength that we never even realized in possession, It always lies within us. Well,I'm feeling really ...