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You lie,You'll die,

Yes,Geminians are good in lying and manipulating circumstances.
We like to do that just to please ourself.
We said that we don't love that person,but deep inside us,
it is a feeling that can be ignite,it has a small parchment of
a sense of warmth and happiness when we see that person
that we no longer "Love"
And have you ever feel that you're lying to your own heart?
That's what I feel in this very moment,
I still love someone from my past,I'm happy and sad to see him around.
I missed him,He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
and right now,it's hard b'coz I have a crush on someone too.
Gezz..how hard is it to be me..?
Only those who knows me well understand.
It's a vast,wonderful 29 days with him,but it carries a lot of meaning,
maybe a guideline if I ever want to have a boyfriend again,
recently,I broke up with another guy,
because I think this thing won't work,there's no spark
between us,
I deserve someone better or equal to Hakim.
B'coz he's the only guy who treated me with a lot of love
and protection so far..
as they said,
"It takes only a second to like someone,a minute to have a crush on someone,
an hour to love someone..but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.."
Can you deny that fact?
No.So don't lie.If you think you are stuck in the moment of the present and past.
Think carefully.Don't risk other people's heart.
Heart is a very complicated matter,as love too..
And for now,it's better to think deeply..
I don't want to date again for now.
why?I don't want to.I wish someone who will like to tease me,
make me smile,flirts with me,scold me,make me feel like wanting to
be a better person,a person who makes me love and hate him at the same time,
a guy who could really adapt me..and still be there for me..but he's no longer
to be found.He's the missing part of me,that I will keep searching,
and searching..
Love is an option,you choose it whether to be,or not to be,
You can also refrain yourself to be in a relationship and remain as friends,
till the day he/she moved on,
Love is whereby you choose the person to be free and better yet,
be with someone else,
Love is not about a MUST to be in such boyfriend and girlfriend
relationship,
It is based on pure sincerity and seeing him/her as "The One"
Seeing your future with the person inside your eyes,
and never be afraid to picture it together,
haha.
Guess what?I'm kinda pissed off.
I want to explain a stuff about myself.
I'm quite upset about this.
Please.I'm not a fucking player.
I don't date every single guy I see..
and I don't flirt with every single guy,
People think that I'm a player,a girl who bitches around..
oh please?
I don't like having many girlfriends,they're the one who will backstab us later...
and it's not easy for a gemini like me to find a very understanding same sex friends..
I found a few and I decided to stay with them,
I'm not open to every single girl that I see,I don't want to risk myself,
not that I'm prejudging people,but people do prejudge me..
they don't take time to learn me,as a subject deeply..
so fuck them.I don't wanna have these people as my friends.
It's like a cheap publicity to have everybody as your bestfriends..
Picture this.haha.
"OH,they're all my bestfriends..I'm so lucky.hell"
and the next day,one of them spread a rumor about you,
telling people about things that are false,and portray a bad image to others.
Dang.I don't want to be in that kind of situation.
I as the way I was,I am,and will be..
So,deal with it..OR back off.
Thankies.=DDD



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