Dualism Fuel

Trust.I think we as the gemini has a lot of issues regarding trust.Some learn about it the hard way, and such a very tormenting moment that had to be gone through,just for the sake of learning, "What's trust? What to do with it when we have it? If we have it,can we manipulate it? If we twisted the truth a bit,here and there.. will it be a bad thing for us?Why is it so fun to enjoy the show while hurting other and it's so addicting? and why it hurts the people so much when we did something to abuse it?" I think about it.All day.Despite I'm wasting my time,doing all those geekish stuff and having fun chatting around with someone special in my life right now. Yeah,he's special coz he can understand how I feel to be inflicted with such complex duality that exist upon me and him. and I just love him as the way he is. Back to the topic. Trust.Fuck it,a guy.. who been abusing my trust.He's not even my ex. He's nothing in my life,tho we are related geneticall...

It's the combination of the word "happy" and "sad" It's always the thing in me..hahaha.Stop it. I'm sad that letting go of something and someone, and also the past, The past is something I can't forget, and no matter how bad or screwed up I am, it's always me,myself and I picking up the pieces that was scattered and rebuild myself up. It's like how I'm trying hard not to do anything that will ever contradicted myself but failed..but, I managed to find strength and solution while in deep shit. I'm wondering why sometimes that it is always like that. The way geminians sees the world is DIFFERENT. We are different coz we are complex and hard to predict. We have similarity in our behavior and the way we think. How are we struggling battling our own self and self-contradiction idiosyncrasy. and I believe,most of us have our own inner strength that we never even realized in possession, It always lies within us. Well,I'm feeling really ...

Well,let's face this: No matter how sick I am,the idea of hacking or cracking or anything related to cybercrimes is something that I enjoy more than anything.My guilty pleasure. Exploring deep inside our underground world,it has been tainted by a documentary called "code 2600" as it's going to be release in 2011. Someone has change the real official trailer and make our image looks as bad as shit retarded dickhead. It was supposedly a very great trailer to explain our subculture, and types of hackers and the history that lies within in since the thing we called as "computer" is invented, and the term "hack" is derived since the 1950's. Somehow,I just discovered,the trailer has been changed. It's just a huge disappointment to see it has been replaced by another misleading trailer.Take a look: Is it really that bad?I'm a bad impact to society?huh?I terrorize the world huh? I can stalk whoever I want in every way that I wanted. So doe...

It sounds like I'm thinking Science and Technology can improve human thinking and behavior..more than God does. Well,I think Trans humanism is a good idea despite it has some disadvantage and will bring an existence to a new subculture,subhuman. Think about those mind uploading and A.I robots [Androids] if they really can exist in the future. I would love to be immortalize in the cyberworld or as a program, or immortalize someone that I love and care.. I want myself and them to exist forever,even after death.. We can study human behavior and pattern, how would they react and response.. and somehow,write a program to create their "virtual self" or compile it to an android, to make uncanny valley a supported theory. Just like talking to our own conscience, or "other" people conscience. I have that vision in my head, that mind uploading might be practiced in the future. It's not that impossible.Just imagine how it can be.=) I know,I'm a bit obsessed with so...

I'm definitely gonna join that, Woah,my entity and identity in the cyberworld belongs to all those h4xor and I have devoted years just to learn those forbidden knowledge. Here's something to share about my double life: CPSR empowers computer professionals and computer users to advocate for the responsible use of information technology and empowers all who use computer technology to participate in the public debate. As technical experts, CPSR members provide the public and policymakers with realistic assessments of the power, promise, and limitations of computer technology. As an organization of concerned citizens, CPSR directs public attention to critical choices concerning the applications of computing and how those choices affect society. By matching unimpeachable technical information with policy development savvy, CPSR uses minimum dollars to have maximum impact and encourages broad public participation in the shaping of technology policy. According to one of my cookbook, E...

Well,A gemini girl is surely a very confusing and confused person. Maybe because of the things that happen and some truth is out, forcing her to be such a mess in making decision.. Like it or not,I still have to say.. I missed someone,I missed him.But he doesn't care. I would not be a debater and even enroll myself to study.. to motivate myself,if not because of him. Maybe my love for him as faded away,but the history will remain. Well,-sigh-

Yeah2..I think about writing my point of view of life. So here it is,despite it doesn't have anything related to Duality. I'm so like,uh..been thinking a lot till I got stressed out and go haywire. When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?How hard life could be?" ********************** Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope.We will always have a choice,whether to be or not to be,whether it is or isn't,simple right? ********************** Without some goal and some effort to reach it, no one can live. ********************** One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. ********************** Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ********************** Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice...

Define Cheap. It could be cheap in terms of price and cheap in terms of you "publicize" yourself to the public,your image,pride and self value. Not that I'm trying to say that I'm cheap or I'm too proud of myself. Just that the word "cheap" makes me think. People say that I'm too choosy in picking up guys as my boyfriend. The time has not come yet,the right person is not in front of me. bla3..dilly dally shilly shally.C'mon.This blog is to express the duality in me. Talking about cheap, Hell,today's my lucky day! I got free foods,rides and I bought a nice looking pants for just RM10 coz I was digging through the ocean of pants.Well,I was crazy seeing a RM30 material got sold for RM 5.OOOOOHHHH..this is shit.nice. I don't have those pants and my mom was,"yeah,u can have those" So,Cheap is the way of life.just in terms of buying a high price to a lower price. hahaha. So ta-da!.. I founded and owned my happiness from the morning t...

Yes,this is my first time joining a Debate Tournament University Level. Hahahaha.[suk ati duhal] I see a lot of hot stuff and nice looking guys. That's not the main point,tho I'm single but I'm not available. Yes,I closed my heart.I will remain single till the day, I can say "Sincerity and Chemistry goes along together, and I can see that in a guy right now." Who fucking cares if what I feel right now is a bit of unrequited love or crush or whatever it is? Love make you stronger and want to be a better person.=)) but I here,emphasize..it's better to stay out from a relationship, I mean,a romantic one. Duality,again.Oh shit.He removed me from his friend on FB. Okay,now I really,really have to move on.MOVE ON. I was the Prime Minister today's Motion.Wow..for the first time, in a real tournament. I admit,I kinda annoyed with a guy who ask me a lot of POI. I was very distracted.Distraction. and I actually answered 4 POI..idk,and I give just 1 POI. I thought to...

I shall be.. huh? I think this week is like a hell, under pressure, and I missed someone, He didn't texted me back.huh. Yeah,I know it's kinda unrequited love here, whereby,I stand alone from the distant watching him. hahaha,..a deep crush.=.=" Stop talking about love,my consciences is wanting to talk about something else. I proposed about tomorrow's Yayasan Sarawak Debate.aRGH. Well,I hope the motion is easy and something that I can talk based on facts and my opinions. Nowadays,being a person affected by Duality makes me like, I have a mixed up feelings,make me look rather emotionless and feel like an A.I cyborg robot or anything sci-fi that leads to Transhumanism. haha.Absurd minded,am I? yeah.I know.nah,Who cares. I feel alive when you talk about techy stuffs.=DDD

What the hell? Yes,I'm under pressure that I want to bang my head against the wall and laugh.=.=" Yes,being a geek all of a sudden b'coz of doing CSC 232 mini project! Hell praise to me because I took a lot of time to reconstruct and repolish my coding skills.I used to make flash and simple.swf files. yeah.Once,I was up to be a professional video games developer. and right now,I have to pursue my job as stated as my faculty's name. "Faculty of Administrative Science and Policy Study" Well.I intended to be go to MMU and make a foundation in Computer Science. but,all of a sudden my parents had brainwashed me, So,I become a Public Admin Student. and now I am going to be a debater for my university. I can't wait to enter Yayasan Sarawak World Style English Debate Trophy 2010. It's this upcoming Wednesday,6th October 2010 at UNIMAS. [Banggalah sidak Unimas jadi tuai rumah] The time for me to prove to people that I'm not useless and helpless. Talking ab...

Yes,Geminians are good in lying and manipulating circumstances. We like to do that just to please ourself. We said that we don't love that person,but deep inside us, it is a feeling that can be ignite,it has a small parchment of a sense of warmth and happiness when we see that person that we no longer "Love" And have you ever feel that you're lying to your own heart? That's what I feel in this very moment, I still love someone from my past,I'm happy and sad to see him around. I missed him,He's the best thing that ever happened to me. and right now,it's hard b'coz I have a crush on someone too. Gezz..how hard is it to be me..? Only those who knows me well understand. It's a vast,wonderful 29 days with him,but it carries a lot of meaning, maybe a guideline if I ever want to have a boyfriend again, recently,I broke up with another guy, because I think this thing won't work,there's no spark between us, I deserve someone better or equal to H...