Dualism Fuel

It's been a long,long time since I been on here. Define me the term corrupt. Anything can get corrupted. Mind,soul,programs and almost everything that  you could consider can get into the state of corrupt,getting corrupted. The question is, am I corrupted too? Been thinking lately, I think.yeah.I am partially corrupted. I need to be corrupted, not entirely but only a small parchment of my soul have been such a pain to handle and fixed up.We're talking about doing such things as principle of the double effect.Only to find that we're making the situation screwed up.fucked up.So,we're a bit choked up,by ourself. In that state,we may also find our guitly pleasure. I don't know.Hard to resist.Addicting. In the state of corruption,it is possible for you to contradict yourself,doing things against your own will and principle,just to find yourself a lil bit more powerful and energetic. But we know,the power and energy for sure come from the negative sources. Whatever that m...

"Say it for me,say it to me..I'll leave this life behind me Say it if it's worth savin' me.."

636. Yes. You again.I hate you but I love you. My head really loves you.My heart really hate you and love you at the same time.. But love it..it still doesn't change a thing. Love is a crazy thing for me.It made me smile.It made me cry. It made me feel tormented.I just enjoy it to the extreme. Hey..I'm just touched you say I'm a good girl. Hey..I don't know how to make up with a guy,especially it's you. I don't know what to do,step by step.Teach me eh?Not that  I don't want to..I just really don't know how to.but I love the idea. Hey..I talk dirty things,but never tempted practice it. I'm not turn on yet to do 'turn-on-stuff'. Making out is dirty eh? Hey..I want to learn,teach and share a lot of things with you. Hey..I think we can be good friends,if you can't except the fact I love you. B'coz you are worth knowing. That's okay.I always have been hurt like this,everytime I fight for the real thing, some of it worth it.some of it n...

M r .R @ 636, " Why love if losing hurts too much?It’s just nice to know someone is always there for us"  — Yes.I never intended to fall in love with you.I never said a thing about being your girlfriend.I never want to hurt you.I’m tired of having relationship with guys,but I promise you,I can be your special someone,a best friend and lover at the same time.I’m ready to open up and let you in.But,will you walk your way in and do the same thing?I might be here for you now,but who knows,here right now..gone tomorrow?Maybe I’ll be dead or what.I don’t really care.I feel it’s useless not having someone special that I’ve been searching for.I’m always upset by the fact hearing so much rumors about you but I know you will somehow explain to me.I’m always here waiting.I go crazy for you laughter and voice.You deserve the world,but I can give you ME.I know..deep inside you,lies a very loving,exciting and unique character.I searched for that in every guy I’ve been flirting and playin...

Yes.636.You.You.You. I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I MISS YOU! "I MISSSSSSSSS YOUUUUUUUUUU!" -sigh- I wish I could say that to you without crying on the phone.=(

The time has come. My real thoughts,feelings and perspectives about you. I know that I'm hard to read and sometimes the walls surrounding me is so thick, high and very hard to get inside. No.I just hide it.I don't like getting hurt. I'm fragile.I'm prone to be hurt myself more than hurting other people around me. I don't like being seen as vulnerable. I'm that ego and bad. Yes,the past is so painful.I got many history. Many past,many issues.Many tragic,sad and frustrating experience. I seek for unplanned adventure,bypassing rules and limits and strive for non-routine stuffs. I love living in the world of flexibility and freedom. Maybe I can share it all someday with you or at least someone complicated like you.. I'm don't allow people to read me, I expect them to read me if I want to and if only they really want to. Be it my parents,siblings,close friends and anyone. If not,just go to hell.I have that IDGAF atittude. [I don't Give A Fuck] The first...

BOOMBOX . Sounds like I'm mad eh?Nope. It's a song from The Lonely Island ft. Julian Casablancas. I have fallen in love with this song lyrics. Music UNITES us all.Music knows no boundary.Music has its meaning and value to us.It represent us all in every aspect and angle of life. Music = P.I.E P owerful. I nfluencing. E nchanting. I listen to songs not only when I'm happy or in love but when I'm sad,mad,depress,heart broken, and disturbed. I still have the feeling to just want to be a musician someday. Be it a singer,composer or songwriter. and at least join and play in a band in my lifetime. I just want to get myself involve in music.I love singing. not in the shower.but in my room,in front of the mirror. I wish I could sing in front millions and entertain others, but I'm just afraid that if suddenly I can't hold enough breath and spoil the song. It has been my passion.My dream. It has driven me to learn playing the piano,flute,harmonica, gambelan,drum so far ...