Skip to main content

Worries worries, sayang

 

To my sweetheart & hubby, Ikhwan Faiz.


In my bright or dark days, I have so much things to say and shared with you, but I never wanted to burden you with my worries and my absurd self sabotaging brain. I'm scared of how the world will judge me based on my appearance and personality or the way I talk, or how I stuttered or being clumsy. I'm scared I'm not enough for you. I'm scared that I'm not attractive enough or bore you with random thoughts and stupid jokes. I'm scared if I ever made you upset or feel insecure because of my stupid mood swing or being sad. I'm scared everything that my brain and soul has suffered already my lifespan a little more shorter and shorten our time together. I'm scared of my known and unknown health issues will burden you and somehow affect the risk of complications if we try to conceive in the future. Nonetheless of these things, each time I felt my brain and negative thoughts starts manifesting I tried so hard to distract myself from being pushed down to my knees and submit to self loathing. I will try pick myself up no matter how many times I fallen into the abyss of depression. 

I thanked Allah for each seconds and days that I have in this Dunya with you and I hope He will grant me more years to come and well-being to be your soulmate, wife and mother to our children. I don't want to leave this world without experiencing all that I can offer to love, cherish and appreciate you as my husband and my only soulmate. I want to hold your hand till the end of Time and never let go. I want to be your Angel and Paradise for you to feel safe and warmth in this Dunya and Hereafter. You are my strength and eternity. There's nothing else that I need in Life now, but to share all my love and make you happy, sayang. 

I'm totally in love and crazy about your smile, laughter, voice, and everything about us. You made me feel life is worth living. I want to create beautiful and happy memories with you and our family. In fact,as I wrote this I see us in a vision with our children going for weekend outing with me visibly pregnant and holding your hands as we walked along with our young children. 


Eternally yours, 

Munira Jasmin. 


Comments

  1. ikh1September 6, 2021 at 8:50 AM

    Dear My Sayang Munira Jasmin,

    You don't have to indulge yourself into those negative thoughts. I love you and love everything about you. your bests and your flaws. i love all of it. just promise me you will keep loving me as much as you can. and i'll triple back all the love u give me. mmuahhx

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sappy

It's the combination of the word "happy" and "sad" It's always the thing in me..hahaha.Stop it. I'm sad that letting go of something and someone, and also the past, The past is something I can't forget, and no matter how bad or screwed up I am, it's always me,myself and I picking up the pieces that was scattered and rebuild myself up. It's like how I'm trying hard not to do anything that will ever contradicted myself but failed..but, I managed to find strength and solution while in deep shit. I'm wondering why sometimes that it is always like that. The way geminians sees the world is DIFFERENT. We are different coz we are complex and hard to predict. We have similarity in our behavior and the way we think. How are we struggling battling our own self and self-contradiction idiosyncrasy. and I believe,most of us have our own inner strength that we never even realized in possession, It always lies within us. Well,I'm feeling really ...
Post a Comment
Read more

#2: 636

M r .R @ 636, " Why love if losing hurts too much?It’s just nice to know someone is always there for us"  — Yes.I never intended to fall in love with you.I never said a thing about being your girlfriend.I never want to hurt you.I’m tired of having relationship with guys,but I promise you,I can be your special someone,a best friend and lover at the same time.I’m ready to open up and let you in.But,will you walk your way in and do the same thing?I might be here for you now,but who knows,here right now..gone tomorrow?Maybe I’ll be dead or what.I don’t really care.I feel it’s useless not having someone special that I’ve been searching for.I’m always upset by the fact hearing so much rumors about you but I know you will somehow explain to me.I’m always here waiting.I go crazy for you laughter and voice.You deserve the world,but I can give you ME.I know..deep inside you,lies a very loving,exciting and unique character.I searched for that in every guy I’ve been flirting and playin...
Post a Comment
Read more

You lie,You'll die,

Yes,Geminians are good in lying and manipulating circumstances. We like to do that just to please ourself. We said that we don't love that person,but deep inside us, it is a feeling that can be ignite,it has a small parchment of a sense of warmth and happiness when we see that person that we no longer "Love" And have you ever feel that you're lying to your own heart? That's what I feel in this very moment, I still love someone from my past,I'm happy and sad to see him around. I missed him,He's the best thing that ever happened to me. and right now,it's hard b'coz I have a crush on someone too. Gezz..how hard is it to be me..? Only those who knows me well understand. It's a vast,wonderful 29 days with him,but it carries a lot of meaning, maybe a guideline if I ever want to have a boyfriend again, recently,I broke up with another guy, because I think this thing won't work,there's no spark between us, I deserve someone better or equal to H...
Post a Comment
Read more