Skip to main content

Swear it all over again.

Sounds like a title of a song?
Yes,it is.
Doesn't mean that I'm in lovesick mood or melancholic.
As a matter of fact,I'm feeling mixed up.
Dafuq just happened today.
Some people do never give a chance to let us explain ourselves.
I rather stay quiet and say things voluntarily.
Not being pressured at all.
The greatest torture of all is being rather misunderstood.  
All my life,I have been misunderstood.
No matter how pure my intentions are,
No matter how far would I go just to make up things
for people that I care the most,
It was never enough.It was never beyond my expectations.
Wondering if life is tormenting me any further after this.
Let's see,I do sing to myself and feel so very lonely sometimes.
I don't tolerate with loneliness much,like other people.
Laughter and smile of the people around me,keeps me myself smile.
My leverage.
And just because I smile,I laugh,doesn't mean that I'm really happy inside.
People judge instantly.Assholes.
Pulling yourself up and act normal is hard,
Not after life is crumbling down.Not after no one even cares if you're sad.
In times,you are really alone and you DO NOT want to bother your only friends.
Sigh.I love them so much,that I tried to smile and laugh even I'm not in the mood.
Life isn't about me.It's about making up to other people,making yourself useful,peeps.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sappy

It's the combination of the word "happy" and "sad" It's always the thing in me..hahaha.Stop it. I'm sad that letting go of something and someone, and also the past, The past is something I can't forget, and no matter how bad or screwed up I am, it's always me,myself and I picking up the pieces that was scattered and rebuild myself up. It's like how I'm trying hard not to do anything that will ever contradicted myself but failed..but, I managed to find strength and solution while in deep shit. I'm wondering why sometimes that it is always like that. The way geminians sees the world is DIFFERENT. We are different coz we are complex and hard to predict. We have similarity in our behavior and the way we think. How are we struggling battling our own self and self-contradiction idiosyncrasy. and I believe,most of us have our own inner strength that we never even realized in possession, It always lies within us. Well,I'm feeling really ...

Confessions

It's been like months since I last posted here. I confessed, I was looking on things in life in a restricted and conventional way. Now, I am in mid of a crossroad. Trying to figure out of which steps should I had taken or at least have a perfect guideline of what to do next. Right now, as matter of life and death:  TO CHOOSE or WAIT. Goals and Ambitions. Love and Lust. Glory or Defeat.  Mixing up in my head. I'm afraid to reflect what others had think or thought about me. If confession are what people lived for? Why people keep telling lies to themselves? Why white lies exist and why not embrace painful truth? Lies are still lies as it downgrades the power of justice. You serve others with lies while deep inside you're hurting. God, if lies are for the betterment? Why the consequences makes others tripped into  a journey of guilt and sins? It's a thing to ponder upon. My thought exist right now to clarify what I had gone through last semester in c...

#2: 636

M r .R @ 636, " Why love if losing hurts too much?It’s just nice to know someone is always there for us"  — Yes.I never intended to fall in love with you.I never said a thing about being your girlfriend.I never want to hurt you.I’m tired of having relationship with guys,but I promise you,I can be your special someone,a best friend and lover at the same time.I’m ready to open up and let you in.But,will you walk your way in and do the same thing?I might be here for you now,but who knows,here right now..gone tomorrow?Maybe I’ll be dead or what.I don’t really care.I feel it’s useless not having someone special that I’ve been searching for.I’m always upset by the fact hearing so much rumors about you but I know you will somehow explain to me.I’m always here waiting.I go crazy for you laughter and voice.You deserve the world,but I can give you ME.I know..deep inside you,lies a very loving,exciting and unique character.I searched for that in every guy I’ve been flirting and playin...